Answering my own Questions in the Rain

 Who am I really?

            I am what I am. Many may percieve who I am, or assume that I am. Though they may be right, only I have been blessed to know who I am for I own this body and I am created into this body, and this creation is me. Only I could know what it truly means to be me. I have a name, I have a family, I have a life, but only my faith defines who I am, and who I could be; kind yet just; good but not of the people. I constantly change and transform. No matter what form I will take, I will only be one and would always be one, which is myself: the person who God planned me to be.

What am I really scared of?

            I dread that I may repeat the same mistakes again. I fear that because of my lack of thought and a surplus of forgetfulness and pride, I could lose somebody I love, and disapoint them, especially towards God whom I love the most. I am weak, and easily tempted; my flesh is easily swayed and discouraged. Thoiugh I am afraid, I chose not to be a coward, because cowardice is different from  having a fear. I push on forward, and lean on to the future that God has given me.

What do I need to change about myself?

            I am a person who is forgetful. I forget what should I be thankful for. I forget why I am here. I sometimes forget who I am. I forget what is important, and I forget that I am never alone. Due to this trait of mine, it is easy for my pride to take over. I would repeat my mistakes. I would be bitter. I would stray from good and lose value in my relationships and even my life. This forgetfulness is because I lack care. I want to know how to care, and have to care more than I do. In such way, I will only remember.

To what degree have I actually controlled the course my life has taken?

            Never was I alone. There are greatest influences in my life that made me decide to do things, whether it may be God, my family, my closest friends or situations.  I have no control of my environment, but I can do something about myself. Will I follow God or not?

           Only one person decides to do and go through life and that is me.

What is life calling of me?

            Life is a journey to know the purpose of one's own existence. I honestly don't know what I am to be in the far future, yet one thing is for sure: I am made to know God, to love, and to share both of those in the world.